10 Proverbs for You to Ponder

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  1. If religion produces blind sheep, then atheism produces deaf dogs. Between the two, there’s some pretty good comic potential.
  2. If to live for tomorrow is to miss today, then to live for today is to miss tomorrow. Best to avoid linear time altogether.
  3. Go with the flow. True, you’ll eventually hit rapids and be sucked into a watery grave. But at least you’ll be well-liked.
  4. From Vladamir Lenin, we learn,  “The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.” From elementary school, we learn that there are ants in your pants, causing you to do the boogie dance all the way to France. What God hath hidden from the wise and prudent, he hath revealed unto babes.
  5. There are spiders all around you. In your vents. In your couches. Under your covers. Yet when was the last time you told them … any one of them … that you loved them?
  6. Zero population is the answer, my friend. Unfortunately, no one seems to have yet formulated the question.
  7. Of all the constants in the universe, the one that has the most bearing in our lives is the speed of Grandma.
  8. Who needs reality when there’s consensus reality? I mean, if it wasn’t posted on Facebook, did it really happen?
  9. It is better to be feared than to be loved. It is best to be so feared that you confuse people into thinking they’re loving you. That way you’ll get unquestioned obedience plus chocolates.
  10. From the legacy of George Washington Carver, we learn that that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass. From the legacy of Andre the Giant, however, we learn that bigger is better.

Well, that was an interesting exercise. Good night.

Download free eBook – Prionser of the Molepeople

1498099_581924951887814_751477909_oAmazon is doing another special promotion for my Young Adult Comedy-Adventure Prisoner of the Molepeople. Until the end of the week (Saturday the 21st), you can download the eBook for free at: http://www.amazon.com/Prisoner-Molepeople-Stephen-Gashler/dp/1492929298/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424231477&sr=8-1&keywords=prisoner+of+the+molepeople.

If you like the book, please feel racked with guilt until you’ve left a review on Amazon or GoodReads! And please spread the word!

Big, Big City

Phew, I finally (meaning good enough for now) finished mixing “Big, Big City” (the first song of the album for my musical BUMS!). My goal was to have every track completely mixed and ready to go by two Saturdays ago. Of course, reality has its own time table. I would love any comments.

Look to the Stars

indexLast night, I was lying on my driveway, stargazing. I thought how incredible it was to be breathing the air of the only known atmosphere on the only known ball of rock that can sustain life in the known universe (stressing the word known). How fortunate we are to be traveling on this particular ball of rock at who-knows-how-many miles-per-hour through through who-knows-where in the great never-ending vacuum. And when thinking about traveling through space, it’s only natural to think about traveling through time.

Perhaps inversely proportional to the vastness of the universe is our ability to comprehend the universe. Our mortal lives are like sparks from a campfire, here for a moment, then gone forever. It would be such a shame to waste such precious moments.

I wondered if a common problem the citizens of this planet often fall into isn’t an incomplete version of the philosophy of Socrates, to begin with “I know nothing,” but then to stop there. That is, to cling to the mantra of “I know nothing” throughout our lives, when it comes to the subject of our place in the universe and the great beyond, perhaps we’ll discover, when our lives are at an en, that we’ll die still having learned nothing. I felt as if we don’t have time to go back to the drawing board and reinvent the purpose of life, one day at a time, because life itself is so fleeting, we’ll inevitably miss that very purpose in the process.

If you’re unsure of what the purpose is, I suggest looking to the stars. They have a great deal to tell. For as Joseph Smith affirmed, “Could you gaze into heaven five minutes, you would know more than you would by reading all that ever was written on the subject” (TPJS, p. 324; cf. HC 6:50).

The good news is, you can!

What’s with the insistence on the reality of reality?

855238_1318607051730_fullWhat’s with the insistence on the reality of reality? What if the only reason people don’t achieve fairy tale feats is because of having fallen prey to the limiting cynicism branded as realism? What evidence is there that a pragmatic way of living leads to greater fulfillment than an idealistic way of living? There’s billions of data points on this earth to suggest that ordinary lifestyles yield ordinary results. But what of the extraordinary people out there? How many people who are living their dreams got to where they were through ordinary means?

What is the Gospel of Jesus Christ (and most every religion) but an insistence that the fairy tale world is the real word and the world around us the illusion? Without rejecting the meaningful opportunities presented to us in this world, what if we lived by the logic of the fairy tale world? That is, what if we really believed that true love conquers all, and good will always overcome evil, that divine assistance will aid heroes on their quests, that true power is virtue and bravery?

It’s typical to dismiss fairy tales as out of touch with reality. But if this is true, why do our souls connect so much with fairy tales? What if our souls were trying to tell us something? As Plato illustrated, if we had spent our whole lives wandering in a cave, we might assume that the whole world is the cave, that we know the ins and outs as well as is possible to know. Of course, we’d be dead wrong.

On the other hand, it wouldn’t make sense to base our lives on an exterior reality we know nothing about, ignoring the reality before our eyes. So, one might ask, what’s wrong with accepting the reality presented to us for what it is? My response is that God is in the details. From superficial glances, we may think reality has everything to do with commutes to work, social media, and kitchen sinks. But if we’ll call upon our other faculties, i.e. our hearts, we may also discover that the reality we care most for has everything to do with swashbuckling heroes and beautiful maidens. And in comparing the findings of our various faculties and sorting by priority, we may then discover that there is, in fact, a practical means for achieving the mystique of swashbuckling heroes and beautiful maidens. We may indeed discover that our failure to live the fairy tale life is in fact a failure to see reality for what it really is.

As far as I’ve been able to perceive reality, this much I’ve concluded: the soul is immortal. Goodness will previal. Wrongs will be rigthted. Love really does conquer all. And the universe is absolutely amazing. So amazing, in fact, that there’s no god reason — no reason at all — to make tomorrow’s chapter of your fairy tale anything less than fantastic.