This isn’t supposed to happen. Some parents say, “I hope my child turns out better than I was.” Such “selfless” parents have obviously given up on their own ambition and hope the the merits of their progeny will somehow redeem the honor they’d never deserved. Bah. I demand to put my children to shame. At everything. They must live in perpetual awareness that no matter how hard they try in the pursuit of excellence, their father — the dad of all dads — will forever surpass them.
So when my five-year-old Ariah took both second place and the audience choice award for the youth tellers at the Utah’s Biggest Liar contest tonight, and I didn’t win anything among the adult tellers, I felt a sense of budding dread, as if two doors had been opened: one to my daughter’s rising triumph, the other to my perpetual demise as a has-been … or even worse … a never was.
I refuse to be humbled. I refuse to learn a valuable lesson about parental fulfilment. Ariah … this means war! Your five-year-old cuteness won’t last forever.
4 thoughts on “Dangit, I’m being surpassed by my kid!”
Sorry, Steve, that you did not get the high adulation that you deserved tonight. However, I think everyone there was duly awed by the poise, grace and talent of Ariah. She did not look like a “cute little kid” trying to pretend to be an adult. She looked like an accomplished actress trapped in a 5 year old body. I was amazed at her performance. I loved your story but the night did belong to Ariah.
Did anyone film it?
There was an official recording, yes. I believe my mother-inlaw might have also recorded it.
Little did you know that I am responsible for this. As the parent who has given up on my own ambition, I am training Ariah to defeat you, just like in Greek mythology. You don’t stand a chance.