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Decision

Well, after an entirely sleepless night, a long walk at three in the morning, a sick day, and a trip to the temple, where we received a very definite answer, Teresa and I are convinced that the food storage job is the right fit for us right now. Its not the choice I want, but it’s the right choice. What made the difference was this verse I immediately happened upon when opening the scriptures:

“If thou borrowest of thy neighbor, thou shalt restore that which thou hast borrowed …” (D&C 136:25).

When I was on my walk, I realized how passionate I felt about the teaching job and listed all the good I could do with it. But the biggest reason I felt a need to consider the other job was because it would allow me to pay back those who had generously made my position possible. It came down to a simple principle: others first, self last. Though I knew I could do good with the teaching job, I realized it was hypocritical to try to do good with someone else’s money. I first had to meet my obligations to others. Thus the scripture I read in the temple confirmed my decision.

Still, it’s not easy. It’s like having two very qualified, very attractive suiters, and though you may choose the slightly better candidate, you’ll know that you turned down someone else with whom you could have been very happy.

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