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I have a gut and I have to get rid of it. I’ve always hoped for an opportunity like this. I’ve always wanted to prove to the world how utterly farcical the alleged difficulty of losing weight is. It’s sheerly a mind game, I’ve said to myself, and all you fatties are thus weak-minded. Now my words are coming back to haunt me. The real problem isn’t necessarily that I was wrong but whether or not my motivation can consistently outweigh my aversion to committing to a bona fide diet. Of course anyone who really wants to lose weight can do it. We do what we really want to do. I realize now that 90% of the battle is in merely achieving the desire, and I’m afraid that I don’t quite have it yet. Thus I’m a weak-minded fatty.

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