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I caught a queen ant

I found her in a parking lot. I built her a lovely home out of an old Ragu jar. I named her Markeshia. I hope she doesn’t die like my previous queen ants.

Did you know that all worker ants are asexually reproduced? Did you know that male ants come from the only fertilized eggs? Did you know that the worker ants determine whether or not a female larva becomes a queen or not based on the food they feed it? Did you know that a queen ant gets all the sperm she’ll ever need for her eggs in one action-packed orgy in the air with a bunch of drones from other colonies (so as to avoid inbreeding)?

Bees are even weirder. Did you know that when a queen bees murder other would-be queen larvas by stabbing them with her stinger? Did you know that queen bees are the only bees that don’t lose their stingers, giving them unlimited firepower? Did you know that when a queen bee is getting old and not producing as well as she used to, a worker bee breaks off one of her legs, thus signifying to the other bees that it’s time to smother the old queen to death and make a new queen?

Anyone who ever tells you that nature is pristine and holy is full of it. Nature’s sick. Man was made to dominate over it. Which is why I have an ant farm. Not really. I just like ants.

5 thoughts on “I caught a queen ant

  1. Just the other day, I was imagining having an ant farm in my house that would be the size of an entire wall. It could take the place of the wall. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to make this happen, though.

    1. That’s always been my dream! In my most recent draft of Prisoner of the Molepeople, the villain Prince Duthbert has a twenty-foot tall ant farm. I’ve also dreamed of a “human ant farm”, which would be this amazing play place made of large pleather balls with velcro that you can make tunnels out of. Recently Teresa and I were discussing plans for her birthday, and I suggested an epic strategy war game based on ants. It would be like capture the flag, but you’d be protecting your queens instead. You’d have workers, who would have to build fortresses and scavenge for food, soldiers who would go to war, and drones who would sit around and enjoy life. She vetoed the idea. Some day.

  2. “I named her Markeshia. I hope she doesn’t die like my previous queen ants.”

    Oh No! I fear for my anty soul-mate.

  3. i caught a girl worker ant i found her in my house i put her in a contanor since i have no ant farm contanors i found out shes a girl cause shes finnding food my taking off bits of bread and trying to build a home in the bread 🙂

    1. That’s pretty cool :). Alas, I think my queen ant died. My wife and I read up on queen ants, and most of them die before successfully starting a colony. It’s easy to spot a female ant. They’re all female unless they have wings and short abdomens. But you’ll only see males a few times per year.

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