I dreamed that I was Gilbert Gottfried, and I was something like a jester at a fancy dinner party. Life was good. Then this menacing guy came up to me and, with a sly smile, intimated that I had better watch myself or the king would have my head. I thought to myself, “What? I’m the funny guy. The king can’t have it in for me.” That’s when I decided I had it in for autocratic dictators, and so next thing I knew, I enlisted to fight in the revolutionary war beneath George Washington. That’s all I remember.