I haven’t seen much of my family lately. I’ve been drafted into working late hours. Sometimes they whip me. Other times, I whip them. Once I was whipping my boss, and his guts flew off, and I realized he was a skeleton demon. Then Abraham Van Helsing came and drove a stake through his heart. Flowers grew out of his corpse. With bees in them. The bees were evil. Not evil-evil … King James Bible evil. Meaning they tasted bad. So I spat them out and smashed them up and wiped them off. My mother will be so proud of me.