I and my family were kidnapped by the Italian mafia. I decided to talk their talk, so I started swearing up a storm, telling them all how pathetic they were. For one who’s only said a couple of swear words in his entire life, this was quite an accomplishment. A double agent among them whispered to me that I was burning my bridges, but I paid him no heed. In the end, apparently, I hurt the mafia guys feelings, and they took off, allowing me and my family to escape.