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The Peformer’s Itch

rock_starTeresa and I are both getting the performer’s itch. We want to get out there and blast our guitars, light up the stage, and feel the energy of the crowd.

Of course, as my wise older brother once related to me, if everyone was at complete liberty to do whatever they wanted in life and be financially sustained in doing so, chances are there would be many more rock stars in this world than PHP developers, and with an overabundance of rock music that no one wants and a lack of office software that everyone needs, the economy would crash. Thus it seems the real world has a way of compelling us to fulfill its needs, whether through nagging wives, hungry children, or sheer pride. And boy have I felt this cold, stiff hand of compulsion.

I don’t resent it. Though it’s been a path I wouldn’t have chosen on my ideal road map, I think I’ve actually been fulfilling my calling, in part, by learning to use the left side of my brain over the last few years, i.e. by having real jobs. But having thus invested in my dues to the world (I’ve at least made a down payment), I’m feeling the time is drawing nearer when my yang will be complete, and I’ll be at liberty — that is, compelled by conscience — to reinvest in my yin. Teresa’s feeling the same.

It probably doesn’t help that we’re reading Cary Elwes’ new novel As You Wish, which is fueling the hair-brained idea that if he could make it big, we could too.

Anyone else having delusions of grandeur? Or have you come to grips with being another brick in the wall?

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